Jesus and his disciples loved this garden. It was a safe comfortable place with deep grass and a light breeze. It was dark, and they settled into the quiet, some even falling asleep. Jesus tapped Peter, James and John, and asked them to come with him, and they went without question. He asked them to wait for him as he moved “a stone’s throw” away. He had felt agitated, and at first wanted company, then wanted to be by himself. As he stood alone in the dark a feeling of panic descended on him, a gripping fear that he had never experienced before. He fell to the ground, sweat dripping from his face. His body said walk away from this place, no, run. It is dark. They will never be able to find you, run. He stood up, turned and walked back to the three men he had brought with him. They were sleeping. He turned and walked away. He could slip away and they would not know that he had gone. He turned back to them. They were sleeping. They trusted him, and he had brought them to this place and this hour. They trusted him. How could he abandon them? Did he not trust his own mission? He had been so sure of what he was called to do. Did he not trust himself or the One who called him? He felt the coolness of a dawn breeze and could see a grayness in the eastern sky. He felt a calmness descend upon him. He would trust. He had to trust. He looked across the valley and he could see torches moving toward him. He woke up the three men and led them back to the others. When the men with the torches arrived, he held out his hands. They tied him and led him away.
reflection by John Houk